i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
