I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
