If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
