So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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