is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
