I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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