im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
