Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just want nice things and good sex
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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