I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
