As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Farmville is her only friend.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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