i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
