my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize