oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
