some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she smelled like a LAN party
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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