I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
