I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hippo gnu deer
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
