Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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