Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
well you can't waste a boner
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
