the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
