Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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