ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
