this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
