tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
