Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
