I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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