don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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