As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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