I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We talked him into tasing himself.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
