I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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