come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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