I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
