One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
