New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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