i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
