You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
