Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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