i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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