Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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