You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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