Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
