Someone shit on the floor
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize