Duck Duck Cougar?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
