Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
