Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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