So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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