Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you inspire me to be a worse person
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
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