I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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