I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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