i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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