One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
