that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
