Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
