I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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