How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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