Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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