i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
