Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
