i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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