ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just threw up on my dentist
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
apparently the secret to your success is patron
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
