Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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