Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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