I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
