I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
