She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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