Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
