i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
