cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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