I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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