I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize