Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
